February 19, 2006

Pornographic Dancing

I wasn't aware that pornographic dancing was an event at the Olympics. Obviously it is.

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Federal Taxes

Ogre's not here.

Ogre's working on his federal taxes.

You do NOT want know Ogre's thoughts while he is working on the f-ing federal taxes. Trust me.

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February 18, 2006

Saturday Sermon of the Liberal Church

GM Roper of GM's Corner is fighting cancer. A group of bloggers silently known as the South Park Republicans have joined GM in his fight. Over the next few weeks, the Liberal Church will be travelling from blog to blog and all donations made will go to aid GM in his fight against cancer. If you would like to donate by snail mail, we are working on a way for you to be able to do that. Cancer can be a very costly battle and your help is greatly appreciated. Please add a "Fight On" ribbon to your blog. Donations can be made during this post. Find the participants of "Fight On". South Park Republicans


First Church of
Democrats

Bringing liberals closer to God since 2006

proudly talking liberalism in the bible belt

Worship songs play -
"Dick shot the Lawyer" - Choir (Update of I Shot the Sheriff)
"Shot in the Dark" - Choir
"If Dick Listened to PETA" - Choir

more...

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February 17, 2006

Little Bird

I'm outside and you're not!

mediumbird.jpg

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Marine Jokes

We've all heard about the "Old Corps" from those "Old Salts." Here's a story I heard a while back, and there's no doubt in my mind that it's true.

Back in 1775, in Tun's Tavern, recruiting started for the new Marine Corps. The very first Marine enlistee came in, signed the papers and took an oath. He was then told to go outside and wait for the other enlistee's to go through the process. They would assemble later on the front yard.

After a few minutes the second enlistee came out and had a seat on the steps, beside the first. The first man looked at the second and began, "Son, let me tell you about the Old Corps."

*****************************************

A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked, "Do you have any military experience?"

The Marine replied, "Why, yes! I've been in the Marines for a couple of years."

"I see," said the interviewer, "any disabilities?"

The Marine looked at him and replied shakily. "Well... In the Vietnam War I had a grenade go off between my legs, blowing off my testicles."

The interviewer, quite shocked, said "All right, you're hired. Please report to work on Monday at 10:00am."

"Wait wait!" shouted the Marine, "When do the others start? I don't want any special treatment just because of my disability."

The interviewer replied, "Well... I'll tell you the truth. Everyone normally comes at 7:00 in the morning, but nothing gets done until 10. All we do is sit around, scratching our nuts trying to figure out what to do."

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Fun Ads

And yet another hilarious find by Kender: Small ads from the UK.

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Speedy Gonzalez

Even wonder what happened to Speedy Gonzalez -- the cartoon guy? Kender has found him.

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Finally Friday

It's been a long week for the Ogre. And it's been a painful week -- but it's been a good week. I see the news and read about all the horrible evil that happened this week. But I also see the good that happens, like the gold medal winner who donated his "winnings" from the Olympics to helping kids in Africa. Some weeks, the evil seems to be stronger. But the saying "It's all good" can work in so many ways.

So, while One Happy Dog puts up her funnies each Wednesday (don't miss 'em), I save my ultimate silliness for Fridays. I'm trying to not comment on and just plain ignore all the crap for just one day. It doesn't mean evil is winning -- sometimes evil can be defeated by simply ignoring it.

Unfortunately, that's not often. In this country, where the war between good and evil really has come down to freedom vs. socialism/communism/totalitarianism/etc, the war is very difficult. Why? Because if you live by the golden rule in America, you lose!

You see, I want to be left alone. I want to be free to enjoy the fruits of my labor, and I don't want to tell anyone else what to do. If I follow that path, those who want to suppress me and my freedom will do so, because I am NOT telling them what to do. That's what makes this fight so difficult -- because I have to do what I do not want to in order to win.

I have to pay attention to the wrongs that are committed -- I cannot mind my own business. I have to openly attempt to expose those who want to hide, rather than enjoy the fruits of my labor -- because if I don't, they simply will continue to take and suppress me and freedom.

But, as I started to say, it's Friday -- a day to relax a little bit and try to enjoy life a little more. So today, I'm going to post just silliness all day (if I can avoid all the crap), and then I'm going to take off work early and go take some pictures of some birds or something.

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Government Schools want cash

I know, that's not really news. Government schools freely admit now that they only amount of money they need is "MORE." Here, the state university system (100% pork, useless spending), has compiled their wish list for the next year's budget. The idea there IS such a thing as a wish list is appalling.

They want:

  • Multimillion dollar computers
  • Cash for 7,000 students
  • An institute for fruit science
  • A research center in Kannapolis
  • A research center in Hickory
  • A biomedical-engineering institute

Oh, and the officials want the money that's spent to BUILD all these building to become a PERMANENT part of the budget. In other words, they want hundreds of millions to build buildings -- and once they're done, they want that hundreds of millions to be theirs every year to spend as they want.

There's one correct and appropriate answer to every single one of these "requests" on the "wish list":

NO


But then again, that would be the responsible answer -- so don't look for the Democrats that run the state to give that answer. Instead, they'll just raise my taxes to give them the money.

Oh, how I yearn for freedom.

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February 16, 2006

Drunks Support Denmark

The mostly terrorist mulsim world continues to attempt to boycott Denmark because Denmark has not proclaimed islam the national religion of the country. Yes, that's why, it's not because of some cartoons, it's because the muslims have a mission to convert the entire world to islam, with violence when possible.

The civilized world is responding by trying to get everyone to buy MORE products from Denmark. Everyone knows about the little cookies, and perhaps even about the Danish hams. But I was reminded today by Le Sabot Post-Moderne that drunks can support Denmark, too!

You see, Carlsberg Beer is made in Denmark. And in case you can't read that page (it's not English), head to the English site. And this store will actually ship the beer right to your house (if your state will allow them to -- NC does, surprisingly!).

So, you drinkers, let's have a holiday and support crushing terrorism at the same time! Drink a Carlsberg!

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ACLU HATES Good

I know it's beating a dead horse for me to continue to make the same argument, but the Boy Scouts have been an honorable organization since their founding.

In 1908, the Boy Scouts were founded in Great Britain by Lord Robert Baden-Powell. It didn't take long for Scouting to make its way to the United States when an American was exposed to the helpful nature of the British Scouts.

In 1909 in London, England, An American Visitor, William D. Boyce, lost his way in a dense fog. He stopped under a street lamp and tried to figure out where he was.

A boy approached him and asked if he could be of help.

"You certainly can," said Boyce. He told the boy that he wanted to find a certain business office in the center of the city.

"I'll take you there," said the boy.

When they got to the destination, Mr. Boyce reached into his pocket for a tip.

But, the boy stopped him. "No thank you, sir. I am a Scout. I won't take anything for helping."

"A Scout? And what might that be?" asked Boyce.

The boy told the American about himself and about his brother scouts. Boyce became very interested.

After finishing his errand, he had the boy take him to the British Scouting office.

At the office, Boyce met Lord Robert Baden-Powell, the famous British general who had founded the Scouting movement in Great Britain.

Boyce was so impressed with what he learned that he decided to bring Scouting home with him.

On February 8, 1910, Boyce and a group of outstanding leaders founded the Boy Scouts of America. From that day forth, Scouts have celebrated February 8 as the birthday of Scouting in the United States.


more...

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Another Updated Fairy Tale

After reading my expanded and updated tale about The Little Red Hen, Oddy points out another re-telling of a classic: the Grasshopper and the Ant, by Jim Quinn.

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Terrorist Memorial

The construction of the memorial to celebrate terrorism and the terrorist religion of pieces, islam, continues in PA. There's a public meeting to be held this Saturday in Somerset, PA. If you can make it, you might want to attend to see how we're going to celebrate and honor terrorists on the taxpayer dime. For extensive details, see Error Theory.

(H/T to Always on Watch).

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Government Solution: More Government

Is anyone surprised? The government has determined that Katrina was not actually a natural disaster, but instead the lack of more and larger government was the reason that people died. Seriously, this 520-page (or is it 600-page) report really says that.

So, let's go to the report, shall we?

Oh wait, we can't! As of the writing of this post, it seems the report hasn't been released! How is it that so many news reports can tell us what's in a report that hasn't been released? So much for that "right to know." I guess the press meant that THEY have a right to know everything and they will determine, in their infinite wisdom, what the public has a right to know.

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Utter Smoking Insanity

In the spirit of the Olympic Games, I'm trying very hard this week to not comment on the politics of other countries. But this one is just so insane that I can't let it go. The article is about the loons on the other side of pond banning smoking in public. But that's not all--

In addition to making it a crime, for which you can be deprived of liberty and property, they also introduced crimes and penalties for failure to obey the initial laws. There's a brand-new fine for NOT posting signs prohibiting smoking -- and that fine is 4 times the no smoking fine. It's not immediately clear exactly how many "No Smoking" signs are required per square foot. It's also not clear that if there's not a sign and you smoke if you've actually broken the law.

Even that's not all! There's ANOTHER fine, FIFTY times the smoking fine penalty for "failing to stop people smoking." Seriously!

So, if you're smoking, there's a small fine. However, if someone walks past you who is NOT smoking, and they don't stop and force YOU to stop smoking, THEY get a more serious fine! Is there anyone who can make ANY sense out of this insanity?

I expect to see public beatings continue -- because if you are there and don't force someone else to stop smoking, you could be heavily fined!

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Greensboro, NC has too much money

Once again, government shows that it's pockets are completely unlimited. The city of Greensboro, NC just gave over a million dollars -- to professional golf. I guess the professional golf circuit just doesn't have enough money.

Oh, but they'll tell you it was "just in case" the sponsors cannot be found to support the tournament. Apparently the Greensboro council is too insulated from the real world to understand how things work. I've worked on campaigns to obtain sponsors for sporting events before.

Once the "goal" amount of sponsors has been reached, there's not much effort put into obtaining more. Sure, some will be obtained, but you don't try real hard. Well, the city has just ensured that the goal has been met -- so why bother trying to obtain sponsors? They won't.

So, citizens of Greensboro, you have just volunteered to give huge piles of cash to professional sports players. I'm glad you have so much money to waste -- now NO ONE in Greensboro has the right to complain about professional sports salaries -- it's your damn fault.

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February 15, 2006

ToiletGate

Today's top story: Toiletgate.

As first reported here, there is now a full-blown cover up going on in Washington. There is a complete and total news blackout on this serious topic, of which the people have a right to now. The Vice President's press secretary was finally reached for comment:

I. P. Freely, ABC: Mr. Vice President's Press Secretary, we need to know, we have a RIGHT to know -- did the Vice President indeed use the toilet at approximately 6am EST this morning?

Mr. Vice President's Press Secretary: I'm not answering that, you moron.

Anita Man, cBS: Sir, sir, can you please comment on how the Vice President's use of the toilet may be perceived by the French and other countries?

Press Secretary: Where are you people from?

Ben Dover, CAIR: As a representative of muslim terrorists around the world, I need to know what the actual content was of the movement of the Vice President. The terrorist muslim community around the world is certainly offended at this use of the toilet, but we do not know how offended to be without knowing if the Vice President had eaten pork before heading to the toilet.

Press Secretary: Was that even a question, you idiot?

Al Koholic, DNC: So are you confirming now that the Vice President did indeed go, and he went #2? We have a right to know!

Press Secretary: I'm leaving now, you people are actually draining MY intelligence.

Hillary Clinton, taking over the microphone: "A tendency of this administration -- from the top all the way to the bottom -- is to withhold information ... to refuse to be forthcoming about information that is of significance and relevance to the jobs that all of you do, and the interests of the American people."

*** DEVELOPING

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Vice Presidential Toilet Update

*** UPDATE ***

The news reported earlier that the Vice President did indeed go to the bathroom at approximately 6:00am EST has been confirmed by anonymous sources. Witnesses have come forward to confirm that the Vice President was spotted headed into the bathroom just before 6:00 am EST.

ABC News has sent an investigative correspondent into the sewer system to search for additional evidence of this cover up by the Office of the Vice President. There still has been no announcement by the Vice President's Office regarding any scheduled press conferences.

This is very frustrating for the various new agencies covering the White House. One cBS news reporter, Tim Jones was blocked from entering the bathroom at the Vice President's residence. Jones cried out that the secret service agents were blocking his rightful access to information, but they refused to let him enter. Jones said that he was planning on filing a freedom of information act request.

The ACLU has not weighed in yet, nor have the muslims.

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Breaking News: Cheney Uses Toilet

I have just been informed, via press release from the Office of the Vice President and his press secretary that the Vice President of the United States has just gone to the bathroom.

*** EXCLUSIVE ***
It appears that the Vice President actually went to the bathroom 2 hours ago. We will send our investigative team to discover why there was such a delay in the reporting. The public has a "right to know" why, when, and where the Vice President goes to the bathroom. Investigations continue into the names and identities of the plumbers who installed the toilet and the companies involved with the waste removal.

Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., urged Cheney to hold a press conference, which he has not done since 2002. Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., accused the administration of being the most secretive in "modern history."

Cheney's office said that it had only been informed in the last 5 minutes of the Vice President's use of the toilet and that they had no knowledge of him using the toilet before this time. Democrat officials in North Carolina are investigating if any laws were broken while the Vice President was using the toilet.

*** DEVELOPING ***

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"Coalition" wants less freedom

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.


NC Constitution:

Sec. 14. Freedom of speech and press.

Freedom of speech and of the press are two of the great bulwarks of liberty and therefore shall never be restrained, but every person shall be held responsible for their abuse.


There were various reasons that these laws were put in place. One of the basic, primary reasons, was to allow freedom of speech. As the courts have (correctly) ruled repeatedly, money IS speech. Any limitation on money, especially in politics, IS a limit on freedom of speech -- and that's wrong.

A "coalition" of groups in NC wants to limit free speech by limiting what people can give to legislators. That's wrong. There's absolutely no reason to limit it. When you stop what people can give to government, you stop freedom, plain and simple.

So yes, I completely support removing every single limit on any political race -- with one condition. If Bill Gates wants to buy a Senator, I have no problem with that. If one person wants to donate $1,000,000.00 to a candidate for county commissioner, that's fine with me. There should be no limits -- except one.

Each candidate should be required to report, within 24 hours, the source of any donations on the internet. So if you're bought and paid for, everyone will know it immediately. And then the complex, myriad confusing rules could ALL go away and we could stop wasting so much time talking about it and trying to prosecute it.

If I want to give money to someone who will reduce my taxes, why should anyone be opposed to that? So no, don't limit anyone. Just report it.

And if you truly do want to limit it, reduce government spending and regulations -- if there's no reason to buy favors, the spending will go down by itself.

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