I wasn't aware that pornographic dancing was an event at the Olympics. Obviously it is.

Posted by: Ogre at 11:39 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Ogre's not here.

Ogre's working on his federal taxes.

You do NOT want know Ogre's thoughts while he is working on the f-ing federal taxes. Trust me.

Posted by: Ogre at 08:49 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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GM Roper of GM's Corner is fighting cancer. A group of bloggers silently known as the South Park Republicans have joined GM in his fight. Over the next few weeks, the Liberal Church will be travelling from blog to blog and all donations made will go to aid GM in his fight against cancer. If you would like to donate by snail mail, we are working on a way for you to be able to do that. Cancer can be a very costly battle and your help is greatly appreciated. Please add a "Fight On" ribbon to your blog. Donations can be made during this post. Find the participants of "Fight On". South Park Republicans

First Church of
Democrats
Bringing liberals closer to God since 2006

Worship songs play -
"Dick shot the Lawyer" - Choir (Update of I Shot the Sheriff)
"Shot in the Dark" - Choir
"If Dick Listened to PETA" - Choir

Posted by: Ogre at 08:40 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 I must tell you, that I come here sometimes and I have no idea what's what when I read your stuff. Today I just had to finally break down ask you rather than wonder. Pray tell, what's the connection between GM and the 1st Church of Democrats?

Posted by: Michele at February 19, 2006 03:55 AM (beN4P)

2 If you understood everything, I'd have to quit. The idea here is that there's a weekly traveling sarcasm sermon that wanders from blog-to-blog, hoping to pass the donation plate to get some donations to help out GM. So, directly, there's no relationship, it's just an entertaining and silly way to attempt to raise a little money for a good cause.

Posted by: Ogre at February 19, 2006 10:48 PM (2IrwV)

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I'm outside and you're not!

Posted by: Ogre at 08:08 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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We've all heard about the "Old Corps" from those "Old Salts." Here's a story I heard a while back, and there's no doubt in my mind that it's true.

Back in 1775, in Tun's Tavern, recruiting started for the new Marine Corps. The very first Marine enlistee came in, signed the papers and took an oath. He was then told to go outside and wait for the other enlistee's to go through the process. They would assemble later on the front yard.

After a few minutes the second enlistee came out and had a seat on the steps, beside the first. The first man looked at the second and began, "Son, let me tell you about the Old Corps."

*****************************************

A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked, "Do you have any military experience?"

The Marine replied, "Why, yes! I've been in the Marines for a couple of years."

"I see," said the interviewer, "any disabilities?"

The Marine looked at him and replied shakily. "Well... In the Vietnam War I had a grenade go off between my legs, blowing off my testicles."

The interviewer, quite shocked, said "All right, you're hired. Please report to work on Monday at 10:00am."

"Wait wait!" shouted the Marine, "When do the others start? I don't want any special treatment just because of my disability."

The interviewer replied, "Well... I'll tell you the truth. Everyone normally comes at 7:00 in the morning, but nothing gets done until 10. All we do is sit around, scratching our nuts trying to figure out what to do."

Posted by: Ogre at 05:05 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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And yet another hilarious find by Kender: Small ads from the UK.

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Even wonder what happened to Speedy Gonzalez -- the cartoon guy? Kender has found him.

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It's been a long week for the Ogre. And it's been a painful week -- but it's been a good week. I see the news and read about all the horrible evil that happened this week. But I also see the good that happens, like the gold medal winner who donated his "winnings" from the Olympics to helping kids in Africa. Some weeks, the evil seems to be stronger. But the saying "It's all good" can work in so many ways.

So, while One Happy Dog puts up her funnies each Wednesday (don't miss 'em), I save my ultimate silliness for Fridays. I'm trying to not comment on and just plain ignore all the crap for just one day. It doesn't mean evil is winning -- sometimes evil can be defeated by simply ignoring it.

Unfortunately, that's not often. In this country, where the war between good and evil really has come down to freedom vs. socialism/communism/totalitarianism/etc, the war is very difficult. Why? Because if you live by the golden rule in America, you lose!

You see, I want to be left alone. I want to be free to enjoy the fruits of my labor, and I don't want to tell anyone else what to do. If I follow that path, those who want to suppress me and my freedom will do so, because I am NOT telling them what to do. That's what makes this fight so difficult -- because I have to do what I do not want to in order to win.

I have to pay attention to the wrongs that are committed -- I cannot mind my own business. I have to openly attempt to expose those who want to hide, rather than enjoy the fruits of my labor -- because if I don't, they simply will continue to take and suppress me and freedom.

But, as I started to say, it's Friday -- a day to relax a little bit and try to enjoy life a little more. So today, I'm going to post just silliness all day (if I can avoid all the crap), and then I'm going to take off work early and go take some pictures of some birds or something.

Posted by: Ogre at 12:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 *sticks tongue out at Ogre* *runs away*

Posted by: oddybobo at February 17, 2006 02:06 PM (6Gm0j)

2 I wave my private parts at your Aunties!

Posted by: Ogre at February 17, 2006 02:21 PM (/k+l4)

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I know, that's not really news. Government schools freely admit now that they only amount of money they need is "MORE." Here, the state university system (100% pork, useless spending), has compiled their wish list for the next year's budget. The idea there IS such a thing as a wish list is appalling.

They want:

• Multimillion dollar computers
  
• Cash for 7,000 students
  
• An institute for fruit science
  
• A research center in Kannapolis
  
• A research center in Hickory
  
• A biomedical-engineering institute

There's one correct and appropriate answer to every single one of these "requests" on the "wish list":

NO

Oh, how I yearn for freedom.

Posted by: Ogre at 10:01 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 We'll remember this the next time you have a heart attack and use a drug discovered and tested at UNC-CH. Or, the next time you drink water that is not filled with pesticides and hog waste. I don't agree with keeping any building money permanently, but I also don't agree with going backwards just to save a few bucks per person. We've seen just how the private system works when given free reign thanks to the Republic Party being in control in Washington. Oil and Insurance companies rake in record profits while real wages drop, benefits decrease, and services disappear. Utopia for a Republic? Aristocracy. It sounds like your a worker, so welcome to the peasant class my friend.

Posted by: Robert P at February 17, 2006 03:02 PM (7X7vQ)

2 I hope they build that research center here soon in Kannapolis since I need a job. Sounds like a tech guy is what they need.

Posted by: Arbitratorofall at February 17, 2006 03:20 PM (5+Jvh)

3 Robert, your view of people is horribly depressing and fatalistic. You assume that if government does not do something then it simply will not be done. That says that people in a capitalist society will do nothing -- they will not discover or research drugs, and they will only make pesticides that kill people. I'm sorry that you are so depressed and have such a poor view of free people. And your "real wages" line is total crap, utterly unsupported by reality, and you know it. Arbitrator? Stop encouraging them!

Posted by: Ogre at February 17, 2006 04:00 PM (/k+l4)

4 Sorry Ogre, But take a look at our health insurance - capitalist society has driven it into the ground to the point that 48 million Americans have no insurance. Including 50% that work, but have no health care benefits, so real wages are not crap. But, you already know that. Real wages would allow people to eat AND see the doctor. I'm not depressed at all, thankfully the Federal Government does support research that private companies would never fund. You forget that when capitalism had its way, millions died each year from work accidents (I just saw a recent stat that 36,000 brakemen died every year on trains at the turn of the century), people starved, children spent all week in the sweat shop. If you think it is so different today, just look around the world. And, don't forget the wonders brought to us by cigarette companies, asbestos manufacturers, and pharm companies - all of whom knowingly killed people for the sake of profits. Not even a right-wing nutbag can believe that corporations don't need oversight. Too many examples proving the opposite.

Posted by: Robert P at February 21, 2006 01:02 PM (V/N23)

5 Wow. You may not think you are depressed, but you do have a horribly depressing, fatalistic view of everyone else but yourself. Based on your posts, you actually believe that nothing will happen without the federal government. You believe that companies will willingly kill millions of people just because they can get away with it. And as for your claim that capitalism has made health insurance unavailable, that's verifiable wrong. The reason health care is not available for so many people is because government regulation has made it that way. I want to buy insurance that will provide me catastrophic coverage for major accidents and hospitalization only. Government will not allow me to buy that coverage. Government will only permit me to purchase complete and total insurance covering AIDS, depression, alcoholism, mental health, acupuncture, and tons of other crap I DON'T WANT. That's why insurance costs so much -- GOVERNMENT and only government.

Posted by: Ogre at February 21, 2006 01:45 PM (/k+l4)

6 Wait, you think it was the government that was behind the law that makes you buy EVERY KIND OF insurance? You don't think the $150 million a year that certain insurance industry groups spend on lobbying was MAYBE, JUST MAYBE used to push, write, and pass these kinds of laws? You think the insurance industry is so kind, they want to sell you a nice small policy at low-cost, but those mean men in D.C. MAKE them sell you the all-in-one at 10 times the cost? Please. "You believe that companies will willingly kill millions of people just because they can get away with it." .....yeah, I think that is pretty much proven. Cigarettes, Enron, Benzene, Asbestos, Arsenic, Mercury, PCBs - the list goes on and on. No matter how brainwashed you are, you can't serious believe that today's companies would police their own pollution and remove carcinogens if the government wasn't forcing them to, right? There is one example, Tylenol I think, that people bring up over and over. But, just look at all the industry's asking Bush for cover from their bad behavior. Capitalism without regulation is a stupid idea. Capitalism with regulation is a great idea and what helped make our country the greatest in the world. Have you ever read The Jungle, or any of the other reports about working conditions before government regulation? Or, have you traveled to any third world countries or seen the reports about slavery, forced labor, child labor, and all the other things that go on in third world countries? Or, how about the incredibly high death rate among illegal immigrant workers right here in the U.S. That is the best proof that companies do not care at all about their workers, the fact that they kill off illegal immigrants because they are "disposable".

Posted by: Robert P at February 21, 2006 02:43 PM (V/N23)

7 Hold on, let me go check ... Yup, the insurance industry didn't pass any laws -- only legislatures do that. By stating your belief that companies kill people because they can shows that I cannot have an intelligent debate with you. Heck, you have clearly stated that you would kill me if you could get away with it.

Posted by: Ogre at February 21, 2006 02:57 PM (/k+l4)

8 Loud rather than right. Corporations have and will continue to kill people in the name of profit. Not every corporation, but enough that laws are necessary to regulate them. Look at the top 20 companies to work with from Fortune. These are companies that make money and yet still manage to pay living wages with health and retirement benefits. The other companies like cigarette manufacturers are killing people for MORE profit, not just for profit. When, exactly, did I say I would kill you if I could get away with it? Loud, rather than right.

Posted by: Robert P at February 21, 2006 03:08 PM (V/N23)

9 Oh, I see, it's not YOU that would kill me, just everyone else on the entire planet. That doesn't strike you as an odd position to hold? That doesn't seem to you to be utterly fatalistic? You have proposed that only you (and government with force, run by "the right people") are good and everyone else is bad and evil. That's what I'm talking about when I say you have an absolutely horrible view of people... other than yourself and the "right" people running government, of course. Open your mind some day and look around. You might find that people are nicer than you give them credit for.

Posted by: Ogre at February 21, 2006 04:00 PM (/k+l4)

10 Common neocon misconception, corporations are not people. They do not have the rights of people, they are not "persons". People are nice, my neighbors are nice, my Republican Dad is nice, the people at last weekends chili cookoff were nice, lots of people are nice. Many corporations, and again you choose to ignore nuance because...well, you're a neocon, MANY corporations care more about profits than human life. You've never denied that Enron, cigarettes, asbestos producers, etc have put profits before people. You can't. It's clear, they have.

Posted by: Robert P at February 21, 2006 09:48 PM (7X7vQ)

11 I see. So these corporations, that are not people, that are not run by people, are evil automations that kill people whenever they get the chance, just because they can. No actual people would actually do this, just the evil corporations. You know, I formed a corporation just last year. I have yet to see it launch itself into violence and killing. I shall hide under my desk just in case it does. Someone, quick, please regulate my corporation before it kills me. Robert, do you really not see how utterly insane that sounds? Corporations kill, but people are nice. Where did the corporations come from?

Posted by: Ogre at February 21, 2006 09:58 PM (2IrwV)

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The mostly terrorist mulsim world continues to attempt to boycott Denmark because Denmark has not proclaimed islam the national religion of the country. Yes, that's why, it's not because of some cartoons, it's because the muslims have a mission to convert the entire world to islam, with violence when possible.

The civilized world is responding by trying to get everyone to buy MORE products from Denmark. Everyone knows about the little cookies, and perhaps even about the Danish hams. But I was reminded today by Le Sabot Post-Moderne that drunks can support Denmark, too!

You see, Carlsberg Beer is made in Denmark. And in case you can't read that page (it's not English), head to the English site. And this store will actually ship the beer right to your house (if your state will allow them to -- NC does, surprisingly!).

So, you drinkers, let's have a holiday and support crushing terrorism at the same time! Drink a Carlsberg!

Posted by: Ogre at 07:03 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 And the Muslims are different than Christians how? The Christians are just as violent as the Muslims as evidenced by our 'holy war' against Iraq.

Posted by: Raven at February 16, 2006 09:10 PM (V5Zbt)

2 Good suggestion. One case of Carlsberg will be forthcoming. That sure doesn't sound like the Raven we know now does it?

Posted by: Tomslick at February 16, 2006 09:29 PM (xNjHI)

3 Not surprisingly I've had that beer before, not one of my favorites.

Posted by: Contagion at February 16, 2006 11:09 PM (e8b4J)

4 I've just finished 12 Carlsbads. To show my support of Denmark.......Or, was it the Netherlands? Some country in Europe. Maybe it was Morocco. Country is a funny word. Have you ever noticed. I really have to pee! Wow, that lady is really hot! Hi honey, how ya doing? Oh, wait, that's the vacuum.

Posted by: Stevin at February 17, 2006 12:44 AM (LfL8N)

5 That's not our Raven, Tomslick, that's a Bush-hater-above-all Raven. Thanks for stopping by, Raven, let me know when you'd like to meet the real world. Apparently you are a member of a group that calls itself "Christian" that is in a holy war with Iraq. I'm not aware of such a group, but would be glad to join up! And Contagion, just drink the damn beer and stop whining! Stevin? Oh Stevin? Up here. No, over here. Oh, never mind.

Posted by: Ogre at February 17, 2006 12:25 PM (/k+l4)

6 That's not our Raven. The Raven that posted the above comment is obviously a member of that club that finds it difficult to perform the concurrent activities of ambulation and mastication, and far be it from this commentor to point out the obvious and apparent diminishment of the collective mental acumen of the readers of this esteemed and worthwhile electronic slice of the ether of cyberspace, but comments such as the one from the Raven that posted above here certainly contribute to that occurance and certainly cause society as a whole to be brought down to the level of slavering simpletons while making it clear why so many vote with their emotions and not their logic or intelligence. To paraphrase that for you Raven, (as I know your grasp of the language MUST be limited given your insipid comment above); You are too stupid to walk and chew at the same time, and we are all stupider from having read what you wrote, and idiots like you bring down the collective IQ of the world and make it apparent why so many people vote democrat.

Posted by: kender at February 17, 2006 09:51 PM (/mKfY)

7 Don't you hate when you read things that actually seem to suck your intelligence?

Posted by: Ogre at February 18, 2006 02:16 PM (2IrwV)

8 You are rallying drunks in support of denmark.....lol and you wonder why the muslim world is boycotting all there goods. I support the boycott whole heartedly, I have even started buying american keebler butter cookies. If they dont want to listen peacefully ( cause that didnt work before the riots and attacks) then hit em where it hurts... I mean really REALLY hurts..... their wallets. Islam is the true way

Posted by: mezmoerize at February 23, 2006 09:03 AM (MSKdW)

9 That's what's so fun about boycotts -- everyone can pick their own side and we can see who wins!

Posted by: Ogre at February 23, 2006 11:10 AM (2IrwV)

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I know it's beating a dead horse for me to continue to make the same argument, but the Boy Scouts have been an honorable organization since their founding.

In 1908, the Boy Scouts were founded in Great Britain by Lord Robert Baden-Powell. It didn't take long for Scouting to make its way to the United States when an American was exposed to the helpful nature of the British Scouts.

In 1909 in London, England, An American Visitor, William D. Boyce, lost his way in a dense fog. He stopped under a street lamp and tried to figure out where he was.

A boy approached him and asked if he could be of help.

"You certainly can," said Boyce. He told the boy that he wanted to find a certain business office in the center of the city.

"I'll take you there," said the boy.

When they got to the destination, Mr. Boyce reached into his pocket for a tip.

But, the boy stopped him. "No thank you, sir. I am a Scout. I won't take anything for helping."

"A Scout? And what might that be?" asked Boyce.

The boy told the American about himself and about his brother scouts. Boyce became very interested.

After finishing his errand, he had the boy take him to the British Scouting office.

At the office, Boyce met Lord Robert Baden-Powell, the famous British general who had founded the Scouting movement in Great Britain.

Boyce was so impressed with what he learned that he decided to bring Scouting home with him.

On February 8, 1910, Boyce and a group of outstanding leaders founded the Boy Scouts of America. From that day forth, Scouts have celebrated February 8 as the birthday of Scouting in the United States.

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After reading my expanded and updated tale about The Little Red Hen, Oddy points out another re-telling of a classic: the Grasshopper and the Ant, by Jim Quinn.

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The construction of the memorial to celebrate terrorism and the terrorist religion of pieces, islam, continues in PA. There's a public meeting to be held this Saturday in Somerset, PA. If you can make it, you might want to attend to see how we're going to celebrate and honor terrorists on the taxpayer dime. For extensive details, see Error Theory.

(H/T to Always on Watch).

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Is anyone surprised? The government has determined that Katrina was not actually a natural disaster, but instead the lack of more and larger government was the reason that people died. Seriously, this 520-page (or is it 600-page) report really says that.

So, let's go to the report, shall we?

Oh wait, we can't! As of the writing of this post, it seems the report hasn't been released! How is it that so many news reports can tell us what's in a report that hasn't been released? So much for that "right to know." I guess the press meant that THEY have a right to know everything and they will determine, in their infinite wisdom, what the public has a right to know.

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In the spirit of the Olympic Games, I'm trying very hard this week to not comment on the politics of other countries. But this one is just so insane that I can't let it go. The article is about the loons on the other side of pond banning smoking in public. But that's not all--

In addition to making it a crime, for which you can be deprived of liberty and property, they also introduced crimes and penalties for failure to obey the initial laws. There's a brand-new fine for NOT posting signs prohibiting smoking -- and that fine is 4 times the no smoking fine. It's not immediately clear exactly how many "No Smoking" signs are required per square foot. It's also not clear that if there's not a sign and you smoke if you've actually broken the law.

Even that's not all! There's ANOTHER fine, FIFTY times the smoking fine penalty for "failing to stop people smoking." Seriously!

So, if you're smoking, there's a small fine. However, if someone walks past you who is NOT smoking, and they don't stop and force YOU to stop smoking, THEY get a more serious fine! Is there anyone who can make ANY sense out of this insanity?

I expect to see public beatings continue -- because if you are there and don't force someone else to stop smoking, you could be heavily fined!

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Once again, government shows that it's pockets are completely unlimited. The city of Greensboro, NC just gave over a million dollars -- to professional golf. I guess the professional golf circuit just doesn't have enough money.

Oh, but they'll tell you it was "just in case" the sponsors cannot be found to support the tournament. Apparently the Greensboro council is too insulated from the real world to understand how things work. I've worked on campaigns to obtain sponsors for sporting events before.

Once the "goal" amount of sponsors has been reached, there's not much effort put into obtaining more. Sure, some will be obtained, but you don't try real hard. Well, the city has just ensured that the goal has been met -- so why bother trying to obtain sponsors? They won't.

So, citizens of Greensboro, you have just volunteered to give huge piles of cash to professional sports players. I'm glad you have so much money to waste -- now NO ONE in Greensboro has the right to complain about professional sports salaries -- it's your damn fault.

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Today's top story: Toiletgate.

As first reported here, there is now a full-blown cover up going on in Washington. There is a complete and total news blackout on this serious topic, of which the people have a right to now. The Vice President's press secretary was finally reached for comment:

I. P. Freely, ABC: Mr. Vice President's Press Secretary, we need to know, we have a RIGHT to know -- did the Vice President indeed use the toilet at approximately 6am EST this morning?

Mr. Vice President's Press Secretary: I'm not answering that, you moron.

Anita Man, cBS: Sir, sir, can you please comment on how the Vice President's use of the toilet may be perceived by the French and other countries?

Press Secretary: Where are you people from?

Ben Dover, CAIR: As a representative of muslim terrorists around the world, I need to know what the actual content was of the movement of the Vice President. The terrorist muslim community around the world is certainly offended at this use of the toilet, but we do not know how offended to be without knowing if the Vice President had eaten pork before heading to the toilet.

Press Secretary: Was that even a question, you idiot?

Al Koholic, DNC: So are you confirming now that the Vice President did indeed go, and he went #2? We have a right to know!

Press Secretary: I'm leaving now, you people are actually draining MY intelligence.

Hillary Clinton, taking over the microphone: "A tendency of this administration -- from the top all the way to the bottom -- is to withhold information ... to refuse to be forthcoming about information that is of significance and relevance to the jobs that all of you do, and the interests of the American people."

*** DEVELOPING

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*** UPDATE ***

The news reported earlier that the Vice President did indeed go to the bathroom at approximately 6:00am EST has been confirmed by anonymous sources. Witnesses have come forward to confirm that the Vice President was spotted headed into the bathroom just before 6:00 am EST.

ABC News has sent an investigative correspondent into the sewer system to search for additional evidence of this cover up by the Office of the Vice President. There still has been no announcement by the Vice President's Office regarding any scheduled press conferences.

This is very frustrating for the various new agencies covering the White House. One cBS news reporter, Tim Jones was blocked from entering the bathroom at the Vice President's residence. Jones cried out that the secret service agents were blocking his rightful access to information, but they refused to let him enter. Jones said that he was planning on filing a freedom of information act request.

The ACLU has not weighed in yet, nor have the muslims.

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I have just been informed, via press release from the Office of the Vice President and his press secretary that the Vice President of the United States has just gone to the bathroom.

*** EXCLUSIVE ***
It appears that the Vice President actually went to the bathroom 2 hours ago. We will send our investigative team to discover why there was such a delay in the reporting. The public has a "right to know" why, when, and where the Vice President goes to the bathroom. Investigations continue into the names and identities of the plumbers who installed the toilet and the companies involved with the waste removal.

Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., urged Cheney to hold a press conference, which he has not done since 2002. Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., accused the administration of being the most secretive in "modern history."

Cheney's office said that it had only been informed in the last 5 minutes of the Vice President's use of the toilet and that they had no knowledge of him using the toilet before this time. Democrat officials in North Carolina are investigating if any laws were broken while the Vice President was using the toilet.

*** DEVELOPING ***

Posted by: Ogre at 01:06 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

NC Constitution:

Sec. 14. Freedom of speech and press.

Freedom of speech and of the press are two of the great bulwarks of liberty and therefore shall never be restrained, but every person shall be held responsible for their abuse.

A "coalition" of groups in NC wants to limit free speech by limiting what people can give to legislators. That's wrong. There's absolutely no reason to limit it. When you stop what people can give to government, you stop freedom, plain and simple.

So yes, I completely support removing every single limit on any political race -- with one condition. If Bill Gates wants to buy a Senator, I have no problem with that. If one person wants to donate $1,000,000.00 to a candidate for county commissioner, that's fine with me. There should be no limits -- except one.

Each candidate should be required to report, within 24 hours, the source of any donations on the internet. So if you're bought and paid for, everyone will know it immediately. And then the complex, myriad confusing rules could ALL go away and we could stop wasting so much time talking about it and trying to prosecute it.

If I want to give money to someone who will reduce my taxes, why should anyone be opposed to that? So no, don't limit anyone. Just report it.

And if you truly do want to limit it, reduce government spending and regulations -- if there's no reason to buy favors, the spending will go down by itself.

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