Our crack research team was stumbling down a back alley the other night, I mean, doing some discovery reconnaissance, when they came upon a dumpster that was fresh from the DNC headquarters. The team dove in and started looking. After getting past the perfectly good internal combustion engines that had been discarded and the well-used nap pillows, they discovered some documents. Most of them were documents outlining how to take over the America by dividing and conquering, but underneath some old sandals, they found a notebook full of speech drafts for Howard Howie Dean. Posted below are exact quotes from that notebook:

"Republicans are the spawn of Satan."

"The Republican National Headquarters is like a bag of unpopped popcorn -- nothing missing but hot air."

"What ever happened to the Klan, anyway? Can't we get some more of those good old boys elected to the Senate?"

"And after the Democrats invented the internets, we're going to go up to Canada and win up there, too!"

"Of course Bush is going to North Dakota -- he named them as part of the Axis of evil before he invaded Iraq."

"Look, I'm no theologian, but I know that oil comes from Caribou in Alaska that are dying because of Big Republican Oil."

"I'd like to announce my new executive assistant to my assistant adviser, Evil Glennn."

"No, I don't want Americans to have health care because only Democrats can provide it for them if they need it."

"Why is Bush going to down to Florida? He's only going to Florida because he's trying to steal the next election!"

I wonder why they threw that notebook away?

Posted by: Ogre at 08:23 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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