1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,
I went for more ammunition.
Back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls –
They attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.
I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside.

Posted by: Ogre at 07:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 That would probably work better than having an inner-city cop posted at your door, sadly. Hey Ogre, tune in tomorrow, Jason Lewis is sitting in for Rush Limbaugh.

Posted by: Echo Zoe at August 29, 2007 10:03 PM (nIDjA)

2 What, no artillery?

Posted by: Contagion at August 29, 2007 10:37 PM (loeSs)

3 An inner-city cop? Are they allowed outdoors these days? Not around here. Lewis in for Limbaugh? And I thought his moving from Charlotte to MN was a downgrade. I wish I could catch it, but I'm having to earn money to give to people in New Orleans who are sitting around waiting for government to take it from me and give to them. And Contagion, there might be artillery -- want to check the door?

Posted by: Ogre at August 29, 2007 10:53 PM (durxh)

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