It is the end of the world! The sky is falling! Repent! Repent! How do I know? I've been told, according to Louisiana Calcasieu Parish Police Jury President Hal McMillin, living conditions are horrible in his area, and he needs more money because "HIS" residents face the unthinkable! They might
Oh, the horror! How can we permit people to live this way? Quickly, mobilize the national guard and arrest anyone who attempts to survive at any exterior temperature other than exactly 70 degrees Fahrenheit! If someone dares to turn their own, working air conditioner off, they must be arrested immediately and placed in a detention center where the air is exactly monitored.
The only possible solution is for the federal government to nationalize SC Johnson's Off! Insect Repellent. We must devote our scarce national resources to not permitting any person in Louisiana from being bitten by a mosquito. If even one child is bitten, President George Bush has failed as president and should be impeached if he does not resign.
Of course, we have to be very careful to not actually kill any of the mosquitoes, as they have just as much a right to live as humans, so we can only repel them from attacking people.
P.S. Hey Hal, I'll provide you with the same tip as Sheriff John from an earlier post: Shut your pie hole, get out from in front of the cameras, and try working for something instead of whining about what others haven't GIVEN you.
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We can get free Off! from the gubment? Cool, seeing as how I get eaten alive everytime I set foot outside. Now, about my dog, can she get some flea treatments from the ol' gubment, she sure is suffering what with all them damned fleas.
Now it is my turn to whine! The storm, remnants of Rita, that hit my home on Sunday, done blowed out my Directv! I neeeed my Directv! Where is the gubment? I may have to go days, nay, weeks without my directv, the Horror! Help! Help! I'm starting to suffocate, bugs, no t.v., must.talk.to.spouse. Arghhh!!!
How is that for inconsequential whining? P.S. I have pictures up now. . .
Posted by: oddybobo at September 28, 2005 05:59 PM (6Gm0j)
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No! Not DirectTv, too! Quickly, why isn't Congress moving on this? Why hasn't Congress sent you a check for $100,000 yet? I'm sure you're owed it, since the storm hit your house, too. I'm calling my Congressman and asking him why he hasn't sent you $100,000 right now.
...
...
(His phone is busy.)
Posted by: Ogre at September 28, 2005 06:40 PM (iJFc9)
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I got: "you want what for what?" "This is a joke right, ha ha."
Who can I sue?
Posted by: oddybobo at September 28, 2005 07:15 PM (6Gm0j)
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I'd LMAO if it wasn't for the fact that people like Hal weren't dead serious.
Ya know, after storms like Fran and Floyd, I do not remember people whining like they are in La. Maybe it is because the people in those areas are demoratic, while most folks in NC are GOP.
Posted by: William Teach at September 28, 2005 07:24 PM (eSZb/)
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Now I'm getting, "Sorry, that number has been changed to an unlisted number..."
And Teach, that could be -- and can you explain how, since most people are GOP in NC, how we have a heavily Democrat (although NOT democratic) legislature?
Posted by: Ogre at September 28, 2005 07:45 PM (iJFc9)
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Enough on the whining... This just makes me sick. I was without power last year for 3 days. Heat, bugs, no tv, no computer... geeze... I should have whined more... what is that saying... the squeaky wheel gets the grease?
Posted by: vw bug at September 29, 2005 02:40 PM (J3xJ9)
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But the whining is so insane! If I can't make my house payment this month, can I whine to the government and get someone else to pay the bill? No? Then what's the damn difference?
Posted by: Ogre at October 02, 2005 07:04 PM (iJFc9)
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