Ah, to be an "American" today. Of course, yes, I realize, there is no longer any such this as "America" or an "American Citizen" -- at least according to the courts and the legislatures of this once-great country, but still. The phrase "Only in America" still seems to apply.

There's a few of things you need to be warned about. There's a few new things that the police consider dangerous weapons. Be aware if you're found carrying any of these new things around, you are highly likely to be thrown in jail without any recourse. Sure, you might get a "trial" some day, but it will be one where the jurors don't know their powers and if you DARE to tell them their powers, the supreme God of the land (the judge) will throw you in jail again. Anyway, on to the latest dangerous things:

New Dangerous Item #1: Salt. If you are found with any quantity of this substance, especially if you spill ANY amount near a policeman, it may cost you $1000 and a night in jail. Oh, and that's not including any punishments that the judges might hand down. So BEWARE! Police in Union City, GA are taking this threat seriously. Do not carry or spill salt near policemen there or be prepared to spend the night in jail.

New Dangerous Item #2: Toy Plastic and Cardboard-Tube Guns -- especially ones that have "BAZOOKA" printed on them in big, cartoon, yellow letters. That's extra-scary. If you are found with one of these large piece of plastic in public, waving it about and pointing it at the sky, you're in trouble. And if you shoot it into the air with silly blue plastic "bullets" and let kids play with the toy, you will be arrested for being dangerous. I suppose if you broke it in half and poked someone with a pointy edge, you could put your eye out.

Dangerous Item #3: Iodine. Yes, that brown stuff that your mother used to put on your cuts is now, according to the DEA, just as bad a heroin. So if you've got a few capsules around that you use to purify water when you camp so you're not killed by microbes, you better consider what's more important to you -- purifying your water so you don't die; or having DEA agents break down your door and throw you in jail for "drug trafficking."

You know, normally I've always been pro-police. But crap like this really makes me dislike the police. Sure, go ahead and claim it's just a few of them -- sure doesn't look that way to me any more.

Posted by: Ogre at 03:06 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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