Saturday Sermon of the Liberal Church

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First Church of
Democrats
Bringing liberals closer to God since 2006
proudly talking liberalism in the bible belt

Worship songs play -
"Dick shot the Lawyer" - Choir (Update of I Shot the Sheriff)
"Shot in the Dark" - Choir
"If Dick Listened to PETA" - Choir

What a great day for gun control! I'm Sarah Brady and the event this past week has me back in the spotlight! Who would have thunk it a week ago, me, a minister in the church of liberals! I'm not even a daughter of one of the Gods!

We have a couple of announcements today, first, our missionaries in Afghanistan and Iraq have successfully committed 4,253 acts of protest against Bush's Islamic Holocaust. 47 more successful protests this week alone! Please keep the insurgents in your prayers and please donate when the plate is passed around.

The "Iraqinam Sixties Protest" has loaded up the VW and landed here in OGRELAND! I must say, some of these OGRE-ettes are much more beautiful than some of the Democrat women back home! Watch out OGRES, Democrats
may steal your daughters away!

We'll now pass the plate whilst Jane Fonda sings a song of worship. For those of you who have yet to return your unwanted tax refund, you may do so now.

Let us bow our head and make a payment. Oh Greatest God of all, Zues, we patiently await for the Holy Spirit and the Great God to come together and be as
one. We patiently wait for the Holy Spirit, Che Guevara, to form a union with thee. Please undo our inner desire of greed. Free my people from the torture
of want, selfishness, and desire. Last week, Oh Lord, the great Devil Bush took control of my people and inflicted them with greed and selfishness. Oh Lord,
let our beloved liberals open up their own wallets as much as they want to open up other people's wallets. Then and only then, will you be Free At Last!

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

♪♫ 'Dick's cheapshot, was a buckshot,'♫
♫♫ 'not a good shot, now I'm hot!'♪
♪♫ 'cause he missed George Bush!'♫
♫'Maybe next time, Bush in sight line'♫♪
♪♫ 'I hope next time, we'll all be fine' ♫
♫♫ 'cause Dick nailed Bush' ♪
♪♫ 'cause Dick nailed Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush' ♫

It can not be said enough that guns are dangerous. Without them, we'd all live a lot longer! Guns kill more people! Guns are dangerous! Guns load theirself and shoot people. Innocent armed robbers often shoot people while working. It's not their fault. Sometimes another gun will force its way into the hands of somebody who wants to prevent the robber from working. Other times, while the innocent robber is working, the gun decides to shoot itself and kills the guy the robber is doing business with.

Dick Cheney, an advocate FOR gun violence by refusing to support gun control legislation, actually took part in an act of violence last weekend. In fact, he was in a the lead character. The gun he used is one of the most lethal. Some people will disagree that it's an assault rifle, but look how dangerous it was! It nearly kill an elderly man!

Many, many jokes were made this past weekend about Dick Cheney's hunting accident. In fact, Dick Cheney's gun was so dangerous, it almost killed me because I was drinking water when I heard the news! I was so joyous and filled with so much laughter that I inhaled some water. I nearly died because of Dick Cheney's gun!

After a while, Zues spoke to me and told me what I needed to do. I realized that we need more gun control! Some of you say we have had enough, but thousands of Islamic protestors are being shot by evil guns everyday! Evil guns prevented rescue workers from bringing in supplies to poor innocent victims of
George Bush's enviromental disaster!

Not one single person was killed by a gun during the September 11, 2001 accident. Yet, within minutes of the World Trade Center collapse, guns convinced George Bush to shoot down innocent people. The claim was that there was terrorist on board that plane, but just because they had international phone conversations with Al-Qaida, doesn't mean that they were terrorist. Even if they were, there still wasn't proof that they would have crashed the planes into any American buildings. We don't know what happened because those evil guns convinced George Bush to drill bullets into the plane and make it crash. Those people aboard the plane must have felt so betrayed by the Bush administration to decide to crash it instead of allowing the guns to shoot them out of the sky.

Despite the fact that Al-Qaida never used a gun on September 11, 2001, and 80% of Foxnews viewers believe they did use guns, guns everywhere convinced Americans to send guns to Afghanistan and later Iraq, to kill as many innocent people as possible. George Bush personally ordered guns their. I'll bet that it was Dick Cheney's gun, the gun that shot the lawyer, that convinced George W. Bush to attack innocent Islamic protestors.

The Democratic party tried to aid the Islamic protestors by leveling the playing field. They refused their consent for additional body armor. This helped the Islamic protestors against the United States Military thugs. Despite only having sling shots against the evil guns in the hands of our military, the Islamic protestors successfully stopped thousands of military personell from being controlled by guns in the future.

Guns threaten our lives everyday. Republicans want guns to be in people's hands. We all know that poverty causes crime. Poverty forces everybody who lives below average means to look for alternative ways to earn money. One could only conclude that all poor people are criminals. Since Republicans hate poor people, they rid our nation of poor people by allowing guns on the streets and throwing poor people in jail under the name of "fighting crime". Democratics are on the side of criminals because criminals are poor.

The Democratic party is a party of compassion. Democratics understand that poor people need to make a living too, so if they need to rob people, sell drugs,
or sell their bodies, it's okay, after all, they do need to make a living. Unfortunately, Republicans have made those activities illegal.

Guns have weaseled their way into the poor people's lives by convincing them that guns are needed for protection. Protection from the police and other "law
enforcement" officials. People that Republicans give guns to. Are law enforcement officials any more immune from the evils that guns cause? People are still people! Guns can force police, military, federal agents, and even security guards to kill people against their will.

I would like to see our government do with less guns in the future. By electing Democratic officials, you can help put an end to the evil of guns. They will
expand the definition of assault rifles. They will cut military funding. But gun violence will never end as long as guns on the street. We must keep fighting
until the day comes when we no longer have a military. When police no longer have guns, nor do security gaurds or federal agents. When our civil servants give up their guns, so will the poor people, the people that Republicans unjustly call criminals.

This has proved to work in the past. By cutting back on our military, the rest of the world would do so as well. When Ronald Reagan was President, he threatened the world with his arms build up. The Soviets were forced to do the same. The Soviets wanted less nuclear weapons but they wanted us to get rid of ours first. Democratics wanted to do that. Democratics had the intelligence to realize that once one side put down their arms, so would the other side.

They understand this concept today, in Iraq. Once we withdraw, the insurgents..excuse me, the Islamic protestors will lay down their slingshots and peace will rule the earth once again. The same holds true with the poor. Once our government lays down it's weapons, the poor will no longer need guns and they can rob people at will and nobody will get hurt. They can sell drugs where ever they want and 5 year children won't be threatened. Peace will rule this
nation.

Let us bow our heads and don't forget your payment. Holy Father Zues. We ask for your divine guidance and lead this nation into peace. Bless us with Democratic officials that will expand the definition of assault rifles, cut back on military spending, and be blessed with the understanding that poor people need to make a living too. Give us the compassion that when a poorperson comes in to rob our places of business, that we forgive them, for they need money more than we do. Let us understand that they do these things, not to purchase narcotics, but to feed their itty bitty helpless children. Bless us with your great wisdom, that guns are tools the Republicans use to punish inner city minority youth for being born poor. In your name, the Holy Spirit Che Guevara, and the coming of your son.

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.

You may come forward now and seek redemption by clicking on the button that says Pay Pal.

Last Weeks Sermon (III)Please help to GM. Join the "Fight On" campaign and help fight cancer. You can donate by clicking on the paypal
button.

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