United States Senate agrees to build a fence along the southern border:

And President Bush gives instructions to the National Guard to "secure" the border:

BUSH: Guards!

TWO GUARDS enter and stand to attention on either side of the fence. One of them has hiccoughs and does so throughout.

BUSH: Make sure the immigrants don't pass this fence until I come and get them.

FIRST GUARD: Not ... to pass the fence ... even if you come and get them.

BUSH: No. Until I come and get them.

SECOND GUARD: Hic.

FIRST GUARD: Until you come and get them, we're not to pass the fence.

BUSH: No ... You stay on this side of the fence and make sure they don't pass.

FIRST GUARD: ... and you'll come and get them.

SECOND GUARD: Hic.

BUSH: That's Right.

FIRST GUARD: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop them from climbing the fence.

BUSH: Passing the fence.

FIRST GUARD: Passing the fence ... yes.

BUSH: Got it?

SECOND GUARD: Hic.

BUSH makes to leave.

FIRST GUARD: Er ... if ... we ... er ...

BUSH: Yes?

FIRST GUARD: If we ... er ...

(trying to remember what he was going to say)

BUSH: Look, it's simple. Just stay here and make sure they don't pass this fence.

SECOND GUARD: Hic.

BUSH: Right?

FIRST GUARD: Oh, I remember ... can they ... er ... can they pass the fence with us?

BUSH (carefully): No .... keep them over there ... and make sure they don't ...

FIRST GUARD: Oh, yes! we'll keep them over there, obviously. But if they had to pass and we were with them...

BUSH: No ... just keep them over there.

FIRST GUARD: Until you, or anyone else ...

BUSH: No, not anyone else - just me.

FIRST GUARD: Just you ...

SECOND GUARD: Hic.

FIRST GUARD: Get back.

BUSH: Right.

FIRST GUARD: Okay. Fine. We'll remain here until you get back.

BUSH: And make sure they don't pass the fence.

FIRST GUARD: What?

BUSH: Make sure they don't pass the fence.

FIRST GUARD: The Illegal Immigrants ... ?

BUSH: Yes ... make sure ...

FIRST GUARD: Oh yes, of course! I thought you meant him!

(he points to the other GUARD and laughs to himself)

FIRST GUARD: You know it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard ...

BUSH: Is that clear?

SECOND GUARD: Hic.

FIRST GUARD: Oh, yes. That's quite clear. No problems.

BUSH pulls open the door and makes to leave the room. The GUARDS follow.

BUSH (to the GUARDS): Where are you going?

FIRST GUARD: We're coming with you.

BUSH: No, I want you to stay here and make sure they don't pass the fence until I get back.

FIRST GUARD: Oh, I see, Right.

They take up positions on either side of the fence.

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS: But, Senior Fox said...

BUSH: Shut your noise, you, and get back to picking lettuce!

Posted by: Ogre at 12:08 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 502 words, total size 3 kb.

1 well played. well played.

Posted by: Fools at May 25, 2006 03:05 PM (eXBPu)

2 roflmao! Perfect place to use the Holy Grail bit.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at May 25, 2006 04:00 PM (G9VcX)

3 Thank you both!

Posted by: Ogre at May 25, 2006 05:05 PM (/k+l4)

4 It actually creates a picture in my mind as I read it, LOL. Are you positive this isn't an actual transcript?

Posted by: Seth at May 25, 2006 05:30 PM (DSGqM)

5 My sources are mum.

Posted by: Ogre at May 25, 2006 05:39 PM (/k+l4)

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